If you want me to talk dirty to you like I did to him please refer to things as "homo" and make it a point to tell me you shop at h&m. Oh, and don't forget to tell me that "5 year plans are gay lolol"
- him: I never understood the term squeaky clean
- me: haven't you ever cleaned something so well it squeaks?
- him: ...........no........
- him: does your vagina squeak
- me: no mine is festering with yeast
- just the way i like it
- him: lololol
- him: how was your shower
- me: fine
- boring
- him: i am so tired
- me: go to bed
- him: make me
- me: go
- him: no
- me: ok
- me: hang on i need to clean out my yeast... i'm making a summer ale i'm really excited about
- him: im gonna throw up
- if you keep making those jokes
- all i can smell is jack daniels
- hahaha
- me: yeah mine is more of a sourdough smell
- like old sourdough that's been stuck above the oven for three weeks
- him: i fucking hate you haha
- me: so it's super moist and yeasty
- him: if i ever meet you
- i'm gonna walk up and smack you in the face
- me: I am loving this conversation
- him: just for this
- because that is so gross
- me: you lay a finger on me and see how far that goes
- him: so if you think i want to hangout
- him: youre really dumb
- him: i'll just smack you across the face
- lol
- what are you going to do
- me: good
- him: call some huge douchebag to beat me up
- idgaf
- me: no why would i have someone else fight my fight
- him: well are you made of kevlar hahaha
- me: i'll just slide a finger up into my festering pussy and rub it under your nose
- him: i hate you good night
- me: nighty
